Made-Up Movie Taglines: "New Year's Eve"

“You won’t believe what happened when we called hundreds of Hollywood stars and forty of them answered the phone and said yes!"

Michael J. Fox's First Film Madness

When Disney Studios tried to make a more adult film, it chose Midnight Madness. The "Animal House-lite" film was written and directed by David Wechter and Michael Nankin, who had come to the studio's attention after their short film Junior High School. (A film that starred a young out of tune Paula Abdul.)

Since the production would need to film late at night, the company needed to find an actor who looked young, yet was over 18 because of Hollywood's child labor laws. They found that actor in Michael J. Fox, who played a 16 year old in the film- his very first movie.

John Williams' Classic Score From.... Daddy-O?!?

John Williams is a legendary movie score composer whose lush orchestrations have greatly contributed to such films as Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Schindler's List and Jaws to name just a few. His contributions to the world of film are immeasurable.

Everyone has to start somewhere, however, and the famed composer got his start in 1958 on the low budget B-Film Daddy-O.

Aiming to be a low budget Rebel Without A Cause, but instead a crime film filled with gratuitous young people and music, Daddy-O was a cheaply produced, poorly received filler film that was used to fill out the lower end of a double bill. The young people would be disappointed, as would the stars of the film; as Dick Contino once noted, he ended up in the unemployment line after this box office bungle right behind the film's director Lou Place. John Williams' destiny, however, would literally be in the stars.

"A Hard Day's Night"

The Beatles were huge in 1964. Heck, they're still huge now. In 1964 everyone wanted a piece of them and United Artists realized it had a potential goldmine. Brian Epstein had signed a deal granting United Artists the right to make a film starring the Fab Four. A deal that granted them the right to release the movie soundtrack.

The studio didn't care about the film; it just wanted to make money off the soundtrack. With this in mind, they approved a budget of $500,000 and free reign of the project to young director Richard Lester and the boys. They just wanted a releasable film that would allow them to cash in on a soundtrack.

To everyone's surprise, United Artists received a hit album AND a classic film that has inspired every rock band film that came afterwards. The movie and the album were huge hits.

MST3K: From the Beginning- "The Green Slime"

Mystery Science Theater 3000 originally got its start on a very low rated Minnesota UHF television station. Given two hours to fill with anything he liked, show creator Joel Hodgson decided to make what he called a "cow town puppet show" in which he and his puppets were forced to make fun of bad movies.

The show was a hard sell, so Joel put together a pilot using one of the more notorious films in KTMA's film library- The Green Slime.

The Green Slime was the sort of film that everyone should have seen was a disaster in the making. A joint production of Japan's Toei Studio and MGM, the film was written by American writers, featured an international cast of mostly American B-Movie actors, directed by a Japanese director and filmed in Japan. Besides the obvious language barriers, the film had other issues, like poor special effects and wooden acting.

Joel put together a shortened version of the film where the movie jokes were improvised, but the host sequences were scripted. Station management approved the project and Mystery Science Theater 3000 was born.

While KTMA had permission to air the films, they never got permission to use them for Mystery Science Theater 3000. As a result, these films will likely never see legitimate releases.

Movie Quote Weekends

"I think that it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?

Movie Quote Weekends

"Get me Lieutenant Eckhart, please."

Freaky Fridays: Harry Nilsson

Singer Harry Nilsson is known as being a talented singer/songwriter. His songs, in particular, Everybody's Talking appeared to speak to a generation who were transitioning from the 1960's to the 1970's during a time of great upheaval. As great a songwriter as he might have been, Mr. Nilsson was pretty bad at choosing film projects.

Hear/Here! Get it? It's clever!

His first attempt to write songs and a score for a film was the disastrous Skidoo. While his music was easily the best thing about the film, it is hard to see what made him choose to take on the project. As one of the young persons that Skidoo director Otto Preminger was targeting, Mr. Nilsson should have known that the film would be box office poison. Instead, he reportedly loved the film so much that he begged Otto for a role in the film. He played a prison guard who trips on LSD.

You kids these days! Tripping out on the D, the L, the D, SLD?

Years later, Harry Nilsson chose another film project that he'd later regret- Popeye. Mr. Nilsson wrote all new songs for the cast, none of whom had any singing ability. Their performances were jaw droppingly bad, though the songs were imminently forgettable. Harry Nilsson had scored another misfire.

My ears! The ear plugs- they do nothing!

Margaret Hamilton: A Nice Witch

Margaret Hamilton was an accomplished character actress who had been typecast as a spinster woman who looked down her nose at shenanigans and misbehavior. Imagine the type of woman who runs for her fainting couch while exclaiming 'Well I never!' and you've got the idea.

When the role of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz was offered to Ms. Hamilton she jumped at the chance to do a larger than life character. She manages to steal the show as the fearsome witch, but the result was not what Ms. Hamilton imagined.

She soon found herself scaring children inadvertently. She tried to convince children that she was a nice lady who just happened to have played a witch, but it was mostly for naught. An infamous episode of Sesame Street that she appeared in as a way to reassure children was pulled and banned after just one airing- too many children missed the point of her appearance and got frightened beyond belief. Ms. Hamilton shrugged this situation off, however, and became a tireless donor to children's charities. In real life, this 'wicked witch' had a heart of gold.

Hollywood Math: Adam Sandler Edition

Annoying baby voice

+ 

Cutesy plot

 + 

hot chick who wouldn’t give Adam Sandler, garbageman a shot 

+ 

old lady doing something an old lady shouldn’t be doing 

+ 

Sandler’s troupe of SNL buddies who would otherwise be unemployed

 – 

common sense 

+ 

foul talking kids 

= 

Most every Adam Sandler film.

The "Airport" Curse

The original Airport film premiered in 1970, launching a decade of disaster films- with exploding buildings, sinking ships, falling bridges and natural disasters of all kinds. The people of the 1970's seemingly couldn't get enough disaster films, encouraging the major studios to make them by the dozens. By the end of the decade, however, disaster films became as passé as polyester, disco dancing and Charo.

Hootchie cootchie, remember me?

But Charo's appearance in the final Airport film isn't the curse we're talking about, however. Sadly, two of the airplanes used in the franchise were involved in deadly accidents. The Boeing 707 used in the first film found itself in Brazil, being used by TransBrasil as a cargo plane. In 1989 the plane crashed as a result of pilot error, crashing 2 kilometers from the airport, killing 25 people and injuring 100.

The final film in the series- Airport '79: The Concorde was the one that ended Universal's golden franchise. The film was so bad that Universal Studios tried to salvage things by marketing the film as a comedy after its disastrous first weekend. The film's original tag line was "Fasten Your Seatbelts- The Thrills Are Terrific!" This was changed to "Fasten Your Seatbelts- The Thrills Are Terrific... And So Are The Laughs!" in the film's second week. This change was made after unintentional laughter greeted the film in its first weekend. And how could anyone not laugh when viewing ridiculous scenes like this one, in which George Kennedy opens a window on a still flying Concorde to fire off a flare gun?

Science?!? Who needs science?!?

Sadly, the Concorde used in the film was also involved in a crash in 2000. This time, it was a higher profile accident in France. Operated by Air France, the plane crashed in the town of Gonesse, France, killing 113 people and ending the use of the Concorde.

Quick "Road House" Facts

Road House went from initially being a box office disappointment to a basic cable phenomenon that dares viewers to stop whatever they're doing and watch it anytime they come across it on television. The film is full of quotable lines and bizarre situations that could only happen in the world of the film.

Even after numerous viewings of the film, there might be a few things a casual fan might not know. Like: Jeff Healey's hatred of the line- "Time to drain the main vein." He refused to say it, so the director made him a deal- they would do multiple takes with other lines substituted for the line, including the line as written in the script. He'd get a chance to help choose the best take. This deal was forgotten by the time the film was edited and the line Jeff hated was included in the final film.

Kathleen Wilhoite, who played Carrie Ann the barmaid, did not originally have a singing role in the film. In fact, the director and producers didn't know she was a singer when they hired her. Ms. Wilhoite got in the habit of killing time between takes by jamming with Jeff Healey and his band, which led to the director including a scene in which she sings to everyone's shock. The idea was to show how the stability Patrick Swayze's character brought to the bar was allowing everyone to do things they enjoyed.

Chris Latta, the barfly who played one of the sleazier Double Deuce customers, actually had a very accomplished resume of voice over work. He provided the voice of the Cobra Commander on the 1980's animated show GI Joe. He also provided the original voices for Mr. Burns and Moe the Bartender on The Simpsons. Mr. Latta sadly passed away just five years after Road House premiered.

And finally, despite what many people believe, the movie Road House was filmed entirely in Southern California, and not in Missouri, Texas or Arizona. In fact, the interiors for the first bar that Patrick Swayze works at were filmed just a few blocks away from the Happiest Place on Earth- DISNEYLAND.

Movie Quote Weekends

"All right, that's enough! I want 'em dead, both of 'em. I want this no-face character dead and I want Tracy dead. What's the matter, you bums forgot how to kill people? Doesn't your work mean anything to you anymore? Have you no sense of pride in what you do? No sense of duty? no sense of destiny? I'm looking for generals; what do I got? Foot soldiers! I want Dick Tracy dead!"

Movie Quote Weekends

"I understood that reference."

Freaky Fridays: Skidoo- Neither 'Hip' Nor 'With It'

Otto Preminger was known for his weighty films, which often rose above their simple premises to become legendary. By the late 1960's, however, he saw how filmmaking was seemingly leaving him behind. Despite the socially progressive topics he covered in his films, younger moviegoers were tuning them out in favor of 'today' pictures. 

Fate seemingly intervened in the form of a son he never knew he had. Decades before, Mr. Preminger had a torrid affair with famed burlesque performer Gypsy Rose Lee. Unbeknownst to him, the affair resulted in an out of wedlock son. Ms. Lee tried to keep Otto in the dark for as long as she could, placing another man's name on the birth certificate.

Va Va Va Voom!

In the 1960's, Ms. Lee was forced to reveal to both Otto and her son the truth. Otto embraced his new son and wanted to impress him. Figuring that the college aged young man could help him make 'today' pictures, he hired him to work at his production company.

He's 'hip'. He's 'with it'. Dukka, dukka, dukka, dukka, dukka, dukka, dukka. Huahhhh...

So Otto looked around for a suitable project that would appeal to the young people and impress his son. Otto thought he found that project in Skidoo.

Jackie Gleason & Carol Channing 'rap' with the youth of the day.

Preminger lined up a cast more suited for a rest home than a mod film- Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Mickey Rooney, Groucho Marx and many more washed up stars.

Groucho's head on a screw? Why not?

In the film, Jackie Gleason plays a mobster who has retired from the business. (Is that even possible?) He has taken up a legit life with his wife, Carol Channing, and a hippy daughter who does nothing but shriek and wail about how comfortable her life is. He is blackmailed back into the business and is supposed to get himself imprisoned so that he can murder a stoolie played by Mickey Rooney. Several LSD trips later, the film ends with Ms. Channing leading a hippie brigade to confront her husband's mob boss with a 'love-in.'

This scene makes even less sense if you stay awake long enough to see it in the film.

Needless to say, the 62 year old Otto was not up to the challenge of making a film for the hippie generation. His heart may have been in the right place, but the film turned into a ridiculous mess. Appealing to neither fans of its geriatric cast nor the younger generation, Skidoo was a colossal bomb. Embarrassed by the film, Otto buried it. After satisfying his contractural obligations, Otto put the film in the vault, never to be seen again. His family continued hiding the film, never authorizing videocassette or DVD releases- until 2011 when the film finally became available on DVD. 

Spahn Movie Ranch on Film

Long before it became known as the home of the Manson Family, the Spahn Movie Ranch was actively used as a shooting location for big screen films. 

The big budget classic Duel in the Sun filmed there and became a huge hit at the box office.

Movie and TV westerns, however, quickly became a thing of the past. Audiences were no longer into the kind of films that required a western setting. Soon the Ranch was hosting low budget Z-Movies like The Creeping Terror, a laughably bad film featuring a renegade alien that looked like a carpet.

The ranch would sink further by the late 1960's, becoming the home of the Manson Family cult. The same ranch that had been seen by millions on the silver screen would become synonymous with real life terror and mayhem.

Who in Clue?

It didn't set the world on fire back in 1985, but over the years Clue: The Movie has gained a following that has turned it into a classic. Perhaps audiences and critics were too harsh way back then when the poorly received film failed at the box office.

Through the wonders of cable television, the film found its audience and it's hard to imagine the film's characters being played by anyone else. Colleen Camp's role as the jiggly French maid Yvette, however almost went to Madonna.

Even harder to believe, however, is that the lovely Lesley Ann Warren was not the original Miss Scarlet.

The actress originally chosen to play Miss Scarlet was Carrie Fisher, who was set to play the vixenish villainess right up until two weeks before principal shooting was to begin.

Unfortunately for Ms. Fisher, she got really bad "hay fever" and had to whisk herself to rehab to "recover" from it. Producers had to scramble to find a new Miss Scarlet and they found a perfect one in Lesley Ann Warren who agreed to fill in at the last minute.

You Will Believe A Man is Insane!

When Warner Brothers began production on the first modern comic book film, it wanted to leave the genre's slapdash past behind it. Previously, superheroes were relegated to melodramatic cliffhangers or campy television shows. Superman aimed to be different. So when it came time to cast the character of Jor-El, the selfless Kryptonian who spares his son from the Krypton holocaust by sending him to earth, there was only one person they thought of- Marlon Brando.

While the eccentric Brando had seen better days, he would bring instant credibility to the production and he knew it. At first, he only wanted to provide the voice for Jor-El, who he thought could be represented on the screen by a bagel or toaster. (Sadly, that's not a joke.) After being convinced that this would be confusing for viewers, he agreed to play the part in exchange for $2 Million up front and 11.5% of the gross. A staggering sum for the 1970's and possibly a figure Mr. Brando assumed would be rejected. The producers accepted this deal and Marlon Brando made history as the modern comic book film genre was created.

In the end, Mr. Brando earned $19 Million when the box office was finally totaled up. Superman was a sensation, earning all involved staggering sums of money. Adjusted for inflation and considering his short time on screen, Mr. Brando arguably earned the highest salary ever paid for what amounts to a small cameo performance.

Who Has To Deal With Baby Jane?

Most of the fun leading up to 1962's twisted film What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? was imagining the fireworks on the set. It was no secret that Bette Davis and Joan Crawford despised each other and the public wondered how difficult the filming must have been.

The production was everything people imagined it would be.  The two legends made production a nightmare. Arguments, delays and unprofessional behavior were rampant. A scene in which Bette Davis' "Baby Jane" was supposed to pretend to kick Joan resulted in Ms. Crawford needing stitches.

It was only their desperation for acting roles of any kind that made them take this film. Neither had been getting much work before this. They even agreed to take less money than usual in exchange for a higher percentage of the film's profits. 

After the film's release, when only Bette received a nomination for her off the rails portrayal of "Baby Jane", Joan hit the roof, actively campaigning against Bette and encouraging the other actresses nominated to let her accept the trophy on their behalf if they couldn't make it to the ceremonies. Fate intervened when Anne Bancroft won and couldn't be in attendance. Joan accepted on her behalf in a ceremony that must have been amazing; the lights and cameras could have been powered solely by Bette Davis' hatred.

As Ms. Davis  pointed out years later, Joan actually hurt herself with her actions; the grosses would have easily been $1 Million higher had Bette won the Oscar. In the end, Bette got the last laugh, as her deranged, over the top performance became legendary. Everyone remembers her part in the film, but hardly anyone remembers much about Joan's performance.

Movie Quote Weekends

"Mrs. Peacock was a man?!?"

Movie Quote Weekends

"You are my number one guy!"

"Communism was just a red herring!"