Hits All The Wrong Notes Musical: Lost Horizon (1973)

 

Hits All The Wrong Notes Musical 

Lost Horizon (1973)

Inducted 2017

Lost Horizon was supposed to be Columbia Pictures' big budget Oscar contender in 1973. The lavish musical was supposed to feature vibrant dance sequences that would dazzle audiences who would flock to hear music written by Burt Bacharach. The centerpiece of the film was supposed to be the exciting "Fertility Dance" sequence, which would mesmerize filmgoers with its brilliance. 

Except... At the premiere, audiences snoozed through the overlong setup, waiting nearly 40 minutes for the first song in this "musical". As for that "Fertility Dance" sequence? It succeeded in attracting unwelcome laughs. This overlong turkey was destined for infamy.

Studio chiefs frantically assessed the damage- critics and viewers felt the movie was too long and laughed in all the wrong places. This $12 Million blockbuster was quickly becoming a disaster. Columbia quickly ordered 20 minutes cut from the film, including the "Fertility Dance" which unintentionally cracked up audiences. It didn't help; the film only grossed $2 Million, effectively killing off the musical genre for many years.

The original negatives destroyed, the film only lived on in its edited format. The film's disastrous reception never warranted any special treatment and bad film aficionados could only imagine how bad the edited scenes must have been. Until 2010, when Columbia Pictures restored the film to its original length after an extensive restoration. The film was finally released in its original splendor on DVD and Blu-Ray, almost as though it were a cherished classic. 

Though the revived print looks great, it is easy to see why audiences laughed at the overwrought dance sequences and creaky 70's soundtrack. In the end, it is astounding to ponder how many people thought this film was a good idea.

Matt Helm's Ladies

 

Jerry Lewis Cinemas

Hoyvin, glayvin! In the 1970's Jerry Lewis' career had hit the skids. He might have been revered in France, but he was box office poison in the United States. How could he parlay his previous fame into cash? Why not try his hand at promoting a chain of family-friendly cinemas?

 

You kids and your glayvin, hoyvin cinemas! 

Jerry Lewis Cinemas was a chain of franchised theaters that foresaw the current trend of multi-plex theaters. Investors could build their theater from a pre-designed plan and show family-friendly second run films. Jerry Lewis' team provided an operational plan that would minimize overhead and maximize profits for the franchisees. How could they go wrong?

 

Jerry Lewis in person? Is that a threat?

Well, opening up a theater that wouldn't show more adult fare right when some of the greatest cinematic achievements were being made was a bad idea. That was one of the first changes Jerry made, allowing the franchisees more freedom in choosing what they exhibited. One of the biggest stumbling blocks, however, was the name. Meant to bring Hollywood glamour to the sticks, the name instead dragged them down. Jerry Lewis was seen as a hokey, schlocky also-ran who was no longer relevant. Plus, potential customers were confused. Did this theater only show those old, creaky Jerry Lewis films? By the end of the decade, some of these theaters resorted to showing porn, while the others slowly but surely shut down. Mr. Lewis was forced to declare this enterprise as dead as his career was.

Christmas with The Griswolds

 

Happy Halloween!

 

Boris Karloff is The Mummy

 

Horror Month! Joan Crawford's Strait Jacket!

Long before Faye Dunaway turned her into a campy, psychotic monster, Joan Crawford was creating nightmares herself. In Strait Jacket, Joan stooped to appear in a William Castle cheapie that had been setup at Columbia Pictures when he became attached to the studio. William Castle had been known for making gimmicky films with crazy gimmicks like taking out insurance policies in case someone was scared to death, or hiring people to pretend they were being electrocuted in their seats.

 

Strait Jacket would be one of the first films in which Joan would push Pepsi in the most blatant product placement ever. The biggest surprise of the film, however, is that despite all of the posters and related pictures depicting Ms. Crawford wielding an axe from the film, she is not actually the killer in the end.

Whatever Happened to "The American"?

Movies have always been expensive propositions. Even MGM's famed assembly line often produced expensive films. That's one reason why even films hated by everyone involved still make their way to theaters; it's too costly to leave them on the shelf for too long. Unfortunately, some of them never get off that shelf- like the 1927 film The American.

The film starred silent film stars Bessie Love and Charles Ray. Little is known of the plot, though the film's alternate title was The Flag Maker. Could it have been about Betsy Ross? Some people described it as being a western, so maybe not. Little is also known about why it didn't get released, though it most likely had to do with how it was filmed. Producers used an experimental widescreen camera, so it probably couldn't be shown on standard movie screens. Unfortunately, this film got lost, waiting for theaters to catch up with it technology-wise. Hopefully the film might be found in time for its 90 year anniversary next year, though the odds of that happening are slim.

  

Wings Over Petticoat Junction

The 1927 film Wings, while not well known today, was responsible for numerous "firsts"- it featured the first nude scenes in film, (Clara Bow, the lead actress of Wings, bares her breasts for a fleeting moment and nude soldiers are shown from behind in a shower) the first same sex kiss, (though it wasn't between gay men) and the first film to win an Academy Award for Best Picture.

 

Another first for the film came forty years later. In the 1960's, television shows were more innocent than today. They were less referential than shows today and when they did mention outside entertainment, it was usually fake actors and films. In 1968, however, Petticoat Junction broke with tradition and featured Wings prominently in an episode in which Uncle Joe (played by Edgar Buchanan) recounts how the greatest thing that ever would have happened in their small town- a movie premiere- was canceled because the Stars who were in it decided to go to New York instead. Uncle Joe writes a letter and the two stars of Wings- Richard Arlen and Charles Rogers- finally arrive in Petticoat Junction, forty years after the premiere. Proving that it's never too late to make amends.