"Aw, what the hell! Guys like me shouldn't dream anyway."
-Sonny from "Xanadu"
Monday, July 1, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
"After Earth"- The New Waterworld?
With M. Night Shayamalan's latest film- the Will Smith Scientology vanity project "After Earth"- presumably going up in flames, perhaps it's time for M. Night to introduce a new twist in his next film- make it watchable.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Bad Movie Quote
"Hey, maybe if I took some of that stuff, I wouldn't have to rape nobody no more!"
-Leech from the sleazy mega bomb "Skidoo"
Saturday, May 4, 2013
"Great Gatsby 3D": Future Mega Bomb?
When I first heard that Leonardo DiCaprio was starring in a 3D version of "The Great Gatsby," I figured it would have to be either a colossal success or a colossal failure with no room for anything in between.
However, I'm beginning to think it will be a massive, legendary disaster, on par with "Ishtar," "Waterworld", "Xanadu" and "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". A 3D Gatsby? With Leonardo DiCaprio? Music by Jay-Z? An Amy Winehouse song performed by Beyonce? In a movie that takes place in the 1920's? It's like the film was put together by pulling random elements out of a hat and writing them down. I wouldn't be surprised if they said Charo and Jimmy "J.J." Walker had guest starring roles. Of course, we should be so lucky to experience such a wonderful mega bomb!
However, I'm beginning to think it will be a massive, legendary disaster, on par with "Ishtar," "Waterworld", "Xanadu" and "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". A 3D Gatsby? With Leonardo DiCaprio? Music by Jay-Z? An Amy Winehouse song performed by Beyonce? In a movie that takes place in the 1920's? It's like the film was put together by pulling random elements out of a hat and writing them down. I wouldn't be surprised if they said Charo and Jimmy "J.J." Walker had guest starring roles. Of course, we should be so lucky to experience such a wonderful mega bomb!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
WTF?!? Moments: Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
The entire film was a WTF?!? Moment- take beloved Beatles songs, craft them into a loose story of sorts, then hire an Australian based disco band to perform them.
The poor souls who actually paid good money to see this film must have thought they were having a very bizarre dream. Steve Martin and George Burns sing! Borderline offensive minstrel robots dance! Old people sway to the music with grins on their face that seem to say 'this must be that rock music that's popular with the kids these days!' From beginning to end, there's nothing but bizarre images, poorly cast stars and plenty of scenes that make one question the sobriety of all involved.
It's difficult, but not impossible, however, to choose the biggest WTF?!? Moment and it comes at the very end. The movie ends with a reprise of the title song sung by the most random group of celebrities you've ever seen. Carol Channing, Jose Feliciano, Dame Edna, Wolfman Jack, Connie Stevens, Minnie Riperton, Sha-Na-Na and even more celebs, arranged like they're taking an elementary school class picture, send the audience home on a bizarre note. It was almost like the producers just picked up a Beverly Hills phone book and randomly started calling people until they had enough yeses to fill the bleachers.
In an even bigger shock, Paul McCartney and George Harrison join in the "fun". While it would be easy to see Ringo Starr taking part in this travesty (he had a role in Mae West's Sextette after all) it is difficult to believe that anyone else from the Beatles would want to participate in a film that turns their classics into overly produced desecrations. Since the Beatles had already sold their compositions on the cheap years before, they didn't have any type of control or input on this project. Which makes George and Paul's decision to have a cameo in this trainwreck all the more baffling. They didn't make any money off the songs used in the movie and should have known better.
We can only guess at why the producers chose to round up everyone in Hollywood who said yes and randomly insert them into the end of the film. The best answer is probably that the film was running short and they needed to add a few minutes at the end. Very bizarre, WTF?!? minutes.
The poor souls who actually paid good money to see this film must have thought they were having a very bizarre dream. Steve Martin and George Burns sing! Borderline offensive minstrel robots dance! Old people sway to the music with grins on their face that seem to say 'this must be that rock music that's popular with the kids these days!' From beginning to end, there's nothing but bizarre images, poorly cast stars and plenty of scenes that make one question the sobriety of all involved.
It's difficult, but not impossible, however, to choose the biggest WTF?!? Moment and it comes at the very end. The movie ends with a reprise of the title song sung by the most random group of celebrities you've ever seen. Carol Channing, Jose Feliciano, Dame Edna, Wolfman Jack, Connie Stevens, Minnie Riperton, Sha-Na-Na and even more celebs, arranged like they're taking an elementary school class picture, send the audience home on a bizarre note. It was almost like the producers just picked up a Beverly Hills phone book and randomly started calling people until they had enough yeses to fill the bleachers.
In an even bigger shock, Paul McCartney and George Harrison join in the "fun". While it would be easy to see Ringo Starr taking part in this travesty (he had a role in Mae West's Sextette after all) it is difficult to believe that anyone else from the Beatles would want to participate in a film that turns their classics into overly produced desecrations. Since the Beatles had already sold their compositions on the cheap years before, they didn't have any type of control or input on this project. Which makes George and Paul's decision to have a cameo in this trainwreck all the more baffling. They didn't make any money off the songs used in the movie and should have known better.
We can only guess at why the producers chose to round up everyone in Hollywood who said yes and randomly insert them into the end of the film. The best answer is probably that the film was running short and they needed to add a few minutes at the end. Very bizarre, WTF?!? minutes.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Bad Movie Quote
"Don't do that! I can't take loud noises! Tell me before you do that again!"
-Blind Kiyomi
-Blind Kiyomi
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