Bad Movie Quote

"Watch out for snakes!"

-Eegah

Bad Movie Quote

"One thing's sure: Inspector Clay is dead... murdered! And somebody's responsible!" 

 -Lt. Harper in Plan 9 From Outer Space

Hilarious Quotes About Bad Movies

"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

-Roger Ebert, talking about Freddy Got Fingered

Bad Movie Quotes

"I see you've been promoted from Yak Boy to Mop Boy."

-Buzz from Girl in Gold Boots

MST3K Quote Weekends

"Accusingly yours, Jimmy."

-Tom Servo

MST3K Quote Weekends

"The Pizza Dominatrix!"

-Crow T. Robot

Bad Movie Quotes

"There's a trashy novel written on every line of her face."

-Critter in Girl in Gold Boots

"I'll offer to park cars. For charity."

Happy Batman Day!

Happy 75th to the greatest superhero ever created!

Really Bad Ideas - "Skidoo"

"Crazy LSD trips? Bizarre psychedelic montages? That sure sounds like a dignified way to end your career, Groucho!"

Random Bad Movie Quote

"Pappy, there's dirt in your chili!"

-Running "Gag" in Howling: New Moon Rising

MST3K Quote Weekends

"Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?"

-Crow T. Robot

MST3K Quote Weekends

"Yeah, sure, you control me. Right... I'll be home crushing your house!"

-From the MST3K riffing of Godzilla vs. Megalon

Mega-Misfires: "Antz"

"Let's steal Pixar's good idea and make a crappy looking CGI film that's unique because we put a Z instead of an S in the name."

Happy Birthday DISNEYLAND!

Mega Mis-Fires: "When Time Ran Out"

"We have a Polynesian role available. Get Eddie Albert's son on the phone, STAT!"

Get Your Tickets Here! Get Your Tickets Here!

"That's some old fashioned nightmare fuel right there."

Beyond Belief: Creeping Terror

Yeah, that's not a mangy, dust ridden old carpet from the director's basement- it's THE CREEPING TERROR!

MST3K Quote Weekends

(after a young man gets "assaulted" by a gang of hot young ladies.)

Crow: Man Refuses to Press Charges!

Servo: Says: "ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYou!"

Mike: Hundreds of Men Flock to Crime Scene!

-from MST3K riffing of The Violent Years

MST3K Quote Weekends

"Herve Villechaize's death car!"

-From the MST3K riffing of Space Mutiny

Beyond Belief: Space Mutiny

There's much that's beyond belief in this picture- the Santa stand-in ogling the poodle haired bleach blonded vixen, the Jane Fonda video refugee staring down at what seems to be nothing at all, the Gene Simmons and Rutger Hauer look-alikes carefully studying "science". It's a lot of strangeness for just one picture. But the strangest thing that happens in Space Mutiny is surprisingly none of the aforementioned things. It's that Lady Gene Simmons gets murdered and yet through the wonders of bad continuity, is shown as being alive a few scenes later. At least the writers of Space Mutiny can blame bad editing and not bad science for their beyond belief moment.

Beyond Belief: MegaFault

In the crazy world of the SyFy channel, it is apparently possible to outrun a "MegaQuake". Or at least a cheesy CGI simulation of one.

Beyond Belief: Airport '79

Defying all the laws of science and common sense, Captain Joe Patroni opens up a Concorde's cockpit window and shoots a flare to evade a missle "accidentally" aimed at his aircraft. Accepting the "fact" that a cockpit window on the freaking Concorde is able to be opened, how does Mr. Patroni manage to accomplish this task without his arm getting torn off? And that's the least of the problems with this scene as shown below:

I guess, as Mr. Patroni crudely states moments earlier, that's why "they don't call it the cockpit for nothin', honey!"

MST3K: Space Mutiny

"I hate it when the chaperones try to dance!"

Mega Mis-Fires: "The Phynx"

"We give up. We don't know what you young people want to see, so here's a film with a 'mod' cast and a bunch of out of work actors and actresses who everyone thought was dead. You figure it out!"

(No, it's not the Actor's retirement home or a wax museum...)

MST3K Quote Weekends

"...'Mitchell'... Even his NAME says 'Is that a beer?'..."

-Joel from the MST3K riffing of Mitchell

MST3K Quote Weekends

"Want this on your Klan account?"

-Mike from the MST3K riffing of Boggy Creek 2: The Legend Continues

Happy U.S. Independence Day!

Blind Kiyomi Newsbrief

With rumors that a Hocus Pocus sequel is in the works, Hollywood is wondering whether Sarah Jessica Parker will be galloping back to reprise her role. While some insist that she's ready to hit the starting gate, others say her fans should hold their horses until an official statement is made. Insiders say that Disney is willing to pony up whatever it takes to get her back since she was the glue who held everything together in the first film.

Snuff: The Reality Show

Snuff: The Reality Show

Coming this Fall on FOX! Meet the 12 new contestants who will leave their normal lives behind to compete on the mysterious “Isla de la Muerte.” The master of the Island is the enigmatic Satahn, who along with the beautiful Mansonesque Satahn-ettes, leads the competitors on a wild bunch of adventurous and bizarre competitions. Unfortunately, the three competitors who finish last each week must attend the “Vida Es Muerte” Elimination challenge, officiated by Satahn’s minion, known only as “The Vida es Muerte” guy. His catchphrase of “You’ve been Snuffed” will end the game for one unlucky person and become a national craze, making it onto bumper stickers, T-Shirts and plush dolls.

Snuff: The Reality Show- The Reality Show that could only be on FOX- Where dignity is cheap!

Mis-Fires: Postal

"Let's give Uwe Boll money to make a film with hot chicks, but the only naked person featured is David Foley."