HOLLYWOOD, CA (Fake News)- Jeffrey Katzenberg announced a stunning slate of animated films that Dreamworks Animation will proudly release next year. “I’m an animation genius,” stated Mr. Katzenberg, “and this slate of low brow cartoons will cement my place in animation history.” Coming next year will be the long awaited Shrek sequel: Shrek 10: More Fartin’. “The hilarious Mike Myers will reprise his role as the totally original Shrek,” noted Mr. Katzenberg, “And we’ve also inexplicably brought back Cameron Diaz as well. Would moviegoers even notice if we changed Princess Whatshername’s voice? Hopefully they would, since we threw away $20 Million dollars to bring back Cameron.”
Mike Myers also stated that he was proud of his work on the film. “The Shrek is a fun character, especially since they pay me $25 million dollars each time I make one of these films,” noted Mr. Myers, “He’s also totally unique, especially to those who never saw my ‘If it isn’t Scottish, it’s crap’ character on SNL, my scottish father character on So I Married an Axe Murderer or Fat Bastard in Austin Powers 2 and 3. I was proud to work with Dreamworks again. By the way, Jeffrey, where’s my check?”
Mr. Katzenberg quickly moved on to discuss Madagascar 4: We Made Three of These Already?!? which again reunites its stellar voice cast. “I frankly don’t remember who did the voices for this one, as they were completely unrecognizable, but they were well known stars at the time they were first cast,” noted Mr. Katzenberg, “I do know that we threw away more money for celebrities to do the voices even though nobody would have noticed or cared if we used nobodies.”
Jason Lee was especially excited about the movie, though he didn’t remember if he was actually in it. “I just watched the movie again and even I don’t remember if that was my voice as that lion. Wait, maybe that was Ben Stiller?”
Dreamworks Animation also announced a new project that wasn’t tied to an existing Dreamworks franchise. “We do occasionally make non-sequel films with completely new ideas,” noted Mr. Katzenberg, “Like our latest film that is sure to be a new hit franchise- Farting Cow Farters! Featuring the voices of Dane Cook, Katherine Heigl and that guy who played McLovin’ in that film where those guys want to get drunk.” The film will apparently feature a group of CGI cows who will rap, dance to Smashmouth songs and fart a lot.
“I loved the opportunity to join the ranks of Larry King, Justin Timberlake and Avril Lavigne in getting paid to do a voice for one of these crappy Dreamworks Films,” noted Ms. Heigl, “My accountant is especially fond of my voice work in the film. I think I’m playing a horse or something?”
Jeffrey Katzenberg closed the gala press conference by cryptically talking about a future possible Dreamworks project. “I just want to leave you with this statement- we’ve never done a movie about a ferret, much less a belching ferret voiced by Meryl Streep!”
