Totally Fake Classic Movie Anecdotes

“… Donna Reed found the It’s A Wonderful Life shoot to be extremely dull up until the infamous “Pottersville” scenes. ‘Get me a scotch!’ she shouted, ‘Then watch me do a dance that would make Gypsy Rose Lee blush!' When advised that she would be playing a spinster librarian, Miss Reed became upset, but she soon got her revenge when she revealed that she was wearing nothing underneath her character’s matronly overcoat. ‘Have you seen the rare Pottersville beaver?’ she asked. When Jimmy Stewart admitted that he hadn’t, she quickly disrobed, sending Frank Capra through the roof…”

It's A Wonderful Life & Roadhouse?!?!?

Every Christmas, millions of people watch the timeless classic It's A Wonderful Life. Millions more stumble upon a similar classic while drunkenly flipping through cable channels- the immortal film Road House. Wait, what?

Yes, it's true. There are startling similarities between the Jasper, Missouri of Road House and the hell hole of Pottersville, the alternate universe in It's A Wonderful Life. Most people forget what life in Bedford Falls would have been like if George Bailey had never been born.

Full of neon and wanton women, Pottersville is supposed to be a frightening place. There's divey bars full of trashy, loose dames:

Wild, boisterous fights:

Shady establishments filled with sultry harlots catering to perverts:

Run by a tyrant interested only in money:

Sound familiar, Road House fans? The Jasper, MO of Road House would give Pottersville a run for its money.  There are sleazy dives:

Trashy, loose women:

Sultry women catering to perverts:

And wild, boisterous fights:

All in a town run by a greedy tyrant:

.

Both Dalton from Road House and George Bailey even have frumpy, frigid women to deal with:

But while they may have had similar experiences, they resolve their problems in strikingly different ways....

George Bailey discovers that life is beautiful and merely chooses to reverse his wish that he was never born, thus relegating "Pottersville" to non-existence:

Dalton from Road House cleans up Jasper by kicking ass and taking names:

So while many folks will celebrate the holidays with the traditional, heartwarming story of one man's importance to his family and friends, maybe it's time to have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!

25 Years of Mystery Science Theater 3000!

25 Years ago, a little Cowtown puppet show premiered. Happy Anniversary, Mystery Science Theater 3000!

Bad Movie Quote

"Take that, space bitch!"

-Kalgan from Space Mutiny

When At First You Don't Succeed....

....rename your film & try again!

We've seen this picture of the German DVD box for Ruckus...

But did you know they also apparently called it "Eat My Smoke"?

And also "Ruckus in Madoc County"?

I wonder if this fooled many people... Did someone go to see "Ruckus" to see a shoot 'em up commando film, then "Eat My Smoke" for a raucous yokel car chase comedy, then an action-filled dirt bike movie?

Perhaps "After Earth" could have benefited from a similar ad campaign...

Bad Movie Quote

"The only thing you know about country music is the first four letters!"

-Brock from Howling: New Moon Rising

Sad News in the Bad Movie world....

Fans of the movie Giant Spider Invasion, starring Alan Hale, Jr., Barbara Hale and a cast of Wisconsin bumpkins, have a reason to be sad tonight. The legendary "Giant Spider" used in the film's climactic final scenes was stolen, dismantled and sold for scrap.

Obviously just a metal framework mounted on a VW beetle, the spider was one of the most ridiculous things in the film. That's saying a lot, since the entire movie was nothing but a ridiculous mess. By the time the spider enters the picture, audiences are so shell shocked by the ridiculousness of it all that the spider hardly registers upon first viewing, but subsequent viewings always show this unspecial effect for the train wreck it is.

Why was it so easy for this classic movie prop to be stolen? It was just sitting in a random field, slowly rusting away. It could be argued that the thieves were merely putting it out of its misery, providing it with a more dignified ending.

The giant spider is survived by its bad movie prop brethren- the painting of the Master from Manos, Mikey's Bike from Teenage Strangler and Carol Channing's bra from Skidoo.