Airport ’79: The Concorde
Despite the fact that this movie is nothing but an incompetent mess, it wasn’t too hard to choose the most incompetent moment in a film full of them. In a film featuring latin sexpot Charo in her 1970′s prime, the producers chose another actress to appear in a wet T-Shirt: the ancient Martha Raye. Needless to say, this was the last of the infamous Airport films.
Imagine you’re making a movie and you cast a sexy supermodel in her prime. Sure, she’s a lousy actress with an annoying voice, but who cares? Just come up with excuses to have her display her “assets” in tight, revealing clothing and the guys in the audience won’t care about anything else. The film Species is a perfect example of this; an alternate title could have been Let’s Have A Look At Natasha Henstridge’s Tits.
The makers of Alien From L.A. had it easy- they had the hot supermodel Kathy Ireland in their film. Just put her in a bikini, tight tops and sexy clothes and you’ll have them lining up around the block. The producers of Alien From L.A., however, chose to make Ms. Ireland a nerdy, heavily clothed, dowdy woman who doesn’t appear in a bikini until the last scene of the film. Since this film was produced by schlockmeisters Golan and Globus, producers of the horrific Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, it isn’t hard to believe they’d skimp on the one thing that George Weiss felt would guarantee a hit film- “Tits”.
Every Underemployed Actor/Actress Who Answers The Phone + Multiple Unrelated Storylines Too Short To Fill A Regular Film + Garry Marshall – Coherent Narrative – believability = Guaranteed Greenlight!