Random Quote

"We have many Lisas, Marks, Dennys, Johnnys, and other characters from The Room in America and in the entire world." 

 -Tommy Wiseau

Bad Movie Quote

"You realize, once we cut it off, it won't grow back. I mean, it isn't like hair, or fingernails, or toenails, you know!"

-Doctor from Myra Breckinridge

When Time Ran Out.... Newman's Own was born!

The 1970's were a high time for disaster films and the king of disaster was producer Irwin Allen. Mr. Allen's The Poseidon Adventure ushered in a decade filled with films that put a list of hasbeen actors and up and coming stars in a plethora of peril. By the end of the decade, however, the world had enough of disasters and the genre was Hanging by a Thread. (Sorry about that, folks!) In any case, Mr. Allen was not about to let his favorite genre sink, so he even made a sequel to his first disaster opus- Beyond the Poseidon Adventure which promptly tanked at the box office.

Desperate to repeat his prior success, Irwin decided to go for broke and make the ultimate disaster film that he was certain would resurrect the genre- When Time Ran Out... Eager to cast a name, Irwin called Paul Newman, who wasn't the biggest star around, but could still be choosy about which roles he selected. Paul Newman hated the script, hated the genre and had no intention of taking the role. Irwin was persistent, however, and Paul later remarked that when Allen asked him how much money he wanted for the role, he came up with an outlandish sum that he was certain Irwin would reject. Of course, Allen willingly accepted it without question.

So it was a large sum of money that got Paul to star alongside former NFL player Alex Karras and past their prime stars like Burgess Meredith, Ernest Borgnine and Edward Albert, Jr. son of Eddie Albert, playing an unconvincing Polynesian. The movie was a disaster itself, firmly putting the lid on the disaster craze's coffin. It would be a mere footnote in Hollywood history were it not for that large check Paul Newman collected. Rather than pocket the money, Mr. Newman used it as seed money to establish the Newman's Own line of organic foods. In addition to providing healthy alternatives for consumers, proceeds from the sale of the products go to worthy charities, with hundreds of millions donated to date. So while the movie was forgotten, its legacy lives on.

The movie remained elusive on home video, but it ironically got a full restoration after Mr. Newman passed away, becoming part of the "Paul Newman Film Series". While he certainly would have regretted the choice of packaging for the film he actively hated, Paul probably got a kick put of literally making Newman's Own lemonade out of a big lemon.

Great Moments in Movie-Making Incompetence: "Airport '79: The Concorde"

Airport ’79: The Concorde

Despite the fact that this movie is nothing but an incompetent mess, it wasn’t too hard to choose the most incompetent moment in a film full of them. In a film featuring latin sexpot Charo in her 1970′s prime, the producers chose another actress to appear in a wet T-Shirt: the ancient Martha Raye. Needless to say, this was the last of the infamous Airport films.

Great Moments in Movie-Making Incompetence: "Alien From L.A."

Imagine you’re making a movie and you cast a sexy supermodel in her prime. Sure, she’s a lousy actress with an annoying voice, but who cares? Just come up with excuses to have her display her “assets” in tight, revealing clothing and the guys in the audience won’t care about anything else. The film Species is a perfect example of this; an alternate title could have been Let’s Have A Look At Natasha Henstridge’s Tits.

The makers of Alien From L.A. had it easy- they had the hot supermodel Kathy Ireland in their film. Just put her in a bikini, tight tops and sexy clothes and you’ll have them lining up around the block. The producers of Alien From L.A., however, chose to make Ms. Ireland a nerdy, heavily clothed, dowdy woman who doesn’t appear in a bikini until the last scene of the film. Since this film was produced by schlockmeisters Golan and Globus, producers of the horrific Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, it isn’t hard to believe they’d skimp on the one thing that George Weiss felt would guarantee a hit film- “Tits”.

Blind Kiyomi Sunday MST3K Quote

"We'll, we'd better camp here tonight. The next stock footage is 18 miles away."

-Crow T. Robot in The Leech Woman

Blind Kiyomi Saturday Bad Movie Quote

"Crap-lousy ceiling! I thought I told you to get some man-animals in here to fix it!'

-Terl in Battlefield Earth