The 1989 classic film Road House appears to live in a mulleted world of its own. The rules of the “normal” world don’t seem to apply in Road House, where bouncers are big celebrities, a man can make a living moving bales of hay from one side of a barn to another and where, most importantly, “Pain Don’t Hurt”. Join us in this new feature where we enumerate the many life lessons to be learned from the famed “Double Deuce” night club.
Road House Rule #1: Get the cash upfront- Always remember that the first rule of pimping out your wife’s chest for money is to collect the cash up front. The Road House denizen who learned this lesson the hard way is the hilariously named “Sharing Husband” who is yet another fat, dumpy, balding drunkard who has a hot, blonde and “well-endowed” wife. (It’s the sort of pairing that only happens in the movies and on CBS sitcoms.) The well-endowed wife appears to be a willing participant in her husband’s sideline pimping business and only gets mad after a boorish barfly takes advantage of their generous sample policy when he gropes her chest without paying the princely sum of $20. This sends her husband into a rage, thus beginning the first bar fight of the film. Only in the sleazy world of Road House would a hot blonde be married to such a slovenly husband, who is obviously neither smart nor wealthy. Since we do not see them again, we can only hope that they learned from their mistake and that the next time they solicit another gentleman for a $20 breast groping they make him pay first.
