Patriotic Films: "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington"

Patriotic Films: "Yankee Doodle Dandy"

Movie Quote Weekends

"Switcher! You are one sick puppy!"

Movie Quote Weekends

"Do I really have the face of a horse?"

Freaky Fridays: Dino and Hannibal

Dino De Laurentis was a Hollywood icon. An Italian producer whose career spanned over seven decades, he often stayed in the background, letting his directors take center stage. To most people, he's probably best known as the grandfather of Food Network celebrity and restauranteur Giada De Laurentis.

Okay what were we talking about? Dinosaurs or something?

Mr. De Laurentis produced it all; in 1986 alone, he produced the critically acclaimed Blue Velvet as well as the lowbrow King Kong Lives. From high end art house to low budget cheapies.

In case you were interested, here's Dino.

One film he produced that year was a disappointment at the box office, but attracted a lot of attention from critics- Manhunter, based on a book by a writer who Dino had high esteem for- Thomas Harris. The book introduced a chilling character who would haunt the nightmares of those who read of his murderous sprees- "Hannibal Lektor" (that's not a spelling error)

Yes, it's Hannibal Lektor- played by Brian Cox. Is he not as you remember him?

It's the young Gil Grissom, calling himself Will Graham.

Years before Silence of the Lambs, Dino had adapted the book Red Dragon into Manhunter, where Will Graham ventures into Hannibal's world to get insight into a horrific serial killer. The book had been dynamite. The movie not so much. The film failed at the box office and Dino put his option on the shelf. When Orion Pictures approached him three years later to rent the rights to the second Hannibal book for Jonathan Demme to direct, Dino eagerly jumped at the chance to salvage his investment. He let Orion use the rights for a pittance. The results were a bit different this time.

Now this looks more familiar...

Featuring a completely new cast and a new spelling for Hannibal Lecter's name, The Silence of the Lambs was a sensation, mainly due to the new Hannibal.

Brian who?

Anthony Hopkins made the character of Hannibal Lecter his own, making him a devilish psychopath who haunted everyone's dreams. Sir Hopkins elevated everyone in the production, carrying both Jodie Foster and the film all the way to the Academy Awards where they all won the major categories.

Now then, tell me what Miggs said to you?

This made Mr. De Laurentis angry at first. He had sold the rights for a pittance, assuming that it wouldn't be much of a success. Now he looked foolish. His anger subsided, however, after he realized that he still held the character rights. He produced two successful films- a remade Red Dragon, but with Hopkins as Lecter, and Hannibal, a sequel. In the end, things turned out quite well for him.

More Goldwynisms

"I read part of it all the way through." 

"It will create an excitement that will sweep the country like wildflowers!" 

 "I want to go where the hand of man has never set foot." 

"That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg." 

 "I don't think anybody should write his autobiography until after he's dead."

Wilma Fills In

When the 1966 film The Man Called Flintstone was originally released, it was distributed by Columbia Pictures.

As a nice little wink to the audience, Wilma filled in for the Columbia Torch Lady during the film's original release.

Hanna Barbera has changed hands several times over the years, finding a permanent home with Warner Brothers. Sadly, this ingenious title card is typically removed from the beginning of the film when it is shown these days.

Rest in Peace, Dick Van Patten

"Please Bring her back safely! And if it's at all possible, try to save the car! It's not insured."

Strange Studio Owners

The late 1960's and the 1970's were a strange time in Hollywood. The studios, which had grown into large companies, were finding it hard to reach the young people who were growing tired of the same old films. With movie budgets growing ever larger, one bad decision could take down a studio and almost did. (See Fox's Cleopatra.) Meanwhile, "conglomeration" was the buzzword on Wall Street, so large companies looking for a bit of glitz and glamour hit the streets of Hollywood looking for a deal.

It was this mindset that led to Warner Brothers getting purchased by the "Kinney Leisure Service" which ran parking lot concessions. This match, however, was fortuitous; Kinney Leisure had previously purchased DC Comics, which proved to be an excellent fit with Warners. Soon, Hollywood had taken over Kinney Leisure. The parking lots and extraneous divisions were sold off and Warner became the media juggernaut it is today. 

Another odd match was Transamerica Insurance and United Artists. The insurance company was known for its distinctive San Francisco building and its conservative money management. In a business where gigantic budgets ruled the day, being owned by a stodgy insurance company was not seen as being a positive thing. Ironically, the thing that took down United Artists was the colossally budgeted Heaven's Gate. Transamerica bet the studio on a film that, in hindsight, appears to be something that would never attract the mass audience needed to come close to breaking even. This insurance/film studio hybrid failed miserably. In the end, Transamerica would sell its stake to MGM.

Lethal Weapon: With A Vengeance

Die Hard has had a weird history for a mega budget franchise. As noted last week, the script for the first film was actually written as a sequel for Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando. It wouldn't be the last time that a Die Hard film would use a script not originally meant for the franchise.

In the early 1990's, Brandon Lee was becoming a huge star. Fox had signed him to a gigantic contract and had even procured a script for his first big budget vehicle- Simon Says. Sadly, Brandon would pass away before the film started production. Meanwhile, Warner Brothers was looking for a script it could refashion into a Lethal Weapon sequel. It offered Fox a large sum of money to buy the script. Fox refused.

The studio had different plans for the script. They needed to start production on another Die Hard film or payout a large sum of money to Bruce Willis as a penalty. Soon Simon Says would become Die Hard: With A Vengeance.

Movie Quote Weekends

"I know what you can't say in front of your mother! You want to get laid, don't you? Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!"

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day!

Movie Quote Weekends

"Put on your Sunday best, kids! We're going to Sears!"

Freaky Fridays: "Freaky Fridays"

Mary Rodgers wrote about a mother and daughter who switched places in 1972's Freaky Friday. The book was optioned by Walt Disney Productions who turned it into a film starring Barbara Harris and a young Jodie Foster.

The film did good enough, but fell victim to the overall sameness of other Disney films in that era. The film did gain cult status and was ripe for a remake nearly twenty years later when Disney was dusting off old franchises for The Wonderful World of Disney. This version starred Shelley Long and Gaby Hoffman, but it barely made a impact in the ratings for ABC.

The company would go to the well yet again in 2003. Long before she was a joke, Lindsay Lohan was a tween queen, so it was a foregone conclusion that she would be a great choice to take on the role played by Jodie Foster 27 years prior. This version co-starred Jamie Lee Curtis and became a huge hit, earning back nearly its entire budget in just its first weekend of release. It was easily the most successful of the three Disney versions.

An Expensive Affair

It was no secret to much of the world that media titan William Randolph Hearst had more than just a little interest in the young actress Marion Davies. While his wife kept up appearances on the east coast, Ms. Davies was installed in Mr. Hearst's west coast palace in San Simeon, California. Filled to the brim with antiquities, paintings and opulence, it was the residence of WR's dreams. It's not hard to see who truly held his heart.

In keeping with his "guardianship", Mr. Hearst also guided Ms. Davies' acting career. To highlight his beloved Marion, he often chose roles for her and supplemented the movie's budget with his own funds. Such was the case in 1936's Cain and Mabel.

Starring opposite the legendary Clark Gable, Marion was assisted by the largesse of her benefactor, who paid $100,000 for Warner Brothers to enlarge one of its sound stages to accommodate the large set pieces.

Vain starlets aren't the only ones getting something lifted in Hollywood.

An enormous carousel was also custom built for an elaborate musical sequence at a cost of $35,000 which was also borne by Mr. Hearst. Keep in mind, this was in 1936 during the depths of the depression.

Brother can you spare 350,000 dimes?

The elaborate scenes and costly production was all for naught; the brothers Warner and Hearst lost their shirts on this one, though Marion did gain a carousel out of the deal. Mr. Hearst paid for the carousel to be dismantled and moved to Ms. Davies' Southern California mansion where it was used as a prop for their lavish parties.

Commando II: With A Vengeance

Long before Liam Neeson's daughter was Taken, Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter was kidnapped, forcing him to become a Commando again to win her freedom. 

Ice to see you! (Wait, that doesn't make any sense.)

Strangely enough, Mr. Schwarzenegger wasn't the first person considered for the role. The studio originally wanted to cast rocker Gene Simmons. Mr. Simmons turned the role down, choosing to star instead in Never Too Young To Die with John Stamos and Robert Englund. 

The less said about this picture, the better.

However, that's not the strangest thing about this film. Eager to cash in on the success of Commando, the studio wanted to rush a sequel into production. Arnold would have none of it, refusing to reprise his role. The studio, however, was determined to get a movie from the script it had already purchased. So it reworked the script and changed the names of the characters."John Matrix" became "John McClane" and the role went to Bruce Willis. Yes folks, believe it or not, Die Hard began life as Commando II. Perhaps Arnie regretted turning down the role; Die Hard was much more successful than Commando.

Apparently, even Bruce is bit skeptical. It's all true though.

Alfred Hitchcock's One-Shot "Rope"

Alfred Hitchcock was always looking for something new to amaze his audiences. In Rope, he not only made the picture look like it had been filmed in one continuous shot, but he also shows us the crime at the beginning of the film. This would be a mystery that the audience knew the answer to before anyone on screen did.

Onscreen we see the murderers after they've committed their crime. Believing themselves to be incredibly intelligent, they put the victim's body in a chest and use it as a coffee table for a dinner party they're throwing. They're literally challenging their guests to figure out what they've done.

Mr. Hitchcock ingeniously builds up the suspense even though the audience already knows whodunnit. Jimmy Stewart's professor character senses something is wrong and the audience is on the edge of its seat, wondering if the professor will figure it out.

The production was an amazing undertaking; props and set pieces had to be moved quickly in order for the continuous shot conceit to work. At one point, the camera visibly wobbles; that's a poor cameraman whose foot got run over by a camera dolly. Despite breaking his foot, he doesn't make a sound, so the footage was actually used in the film. Mr. Hitchcock's experiment was a huge success, becoming a classic of suspense.

Ed Wood & James Cagney

Ed Wood was obviously never known for producing top quality films. His only connection with a legendary actor- Bela Lugosi- was mostly an accident caused by Mr. Lugosi's late in life drug and career problems. Otherwise, quality actors weren't lining up to work for Mr. Wood.

Things quite possibly might have gone differently for Ed, however, had a run-in with a legend paid off for him. While filming his second film- the misleading Jailbait (the titular "jailbait" is a gun) a legendary actor happened upon the set.

According to actor Lyle Talbot, James Cagney was apparently driving around when he noticed Ed and the cast doing a location shoot. Mr. Cagney inquired about the production, which Ed Wood no doubt described in exaggerated terms. Cagney was impressed and offered to do an impromptu cameo for Ed, which would no doubt raise the stature of this misleadingly titled mess.

As Ed Wood sat back to figure out a quick way to work the legendary Mr. Cagney into his film, a police officer with the LAPD showed up. Did Mr. Wood have a film permit? To the surprise of nobody who has studied the filmmaking of Ed Wood, he did not. By this time, James Cagney had lost all interest in this shadow production and withdrew his offer of a cameo. The world was left to wonder about what might have been.

Movie Quote Weekends

"Dalton, I brought the mall here, the Seven-Eleven, the Fotomat! JCPenney is coming here because of me!"

Movie Quote Weekends

"Never rat on your friends and keep your mouth shut."

Freaky Fridays: Golan-Globus & Kathy Ireland

Last week, we profiled Superman IV which was improbably produced by low budget schlockmeisters Golan and Globus Productions. Perhaps Messers Golan and Globus had bitten off more than they could chew. Maybe they just weren't up to the challenge of a big budget superhero film. Left to their wheelhouse of low budget genre films, they probably did much better, right? Viewers of Alien from L.A know better.

It would be hard to mess this up; they had Kathy Ireland in her swimsuit issue prime. Sure, she had an annoying voice and could barely act, but surely Golan and Globus would give her a vehicle where she gets to wear a bikini as often as possible. The DVD box clearly shows how they must have gotten this right:

Yeah, mom, I'm going to see a movie about an alien like E.T.

Yet Golan & Globus couldn't even get this right. When we first see Ms. Ireland, she looks like this:

But Mr. Golan, I just woke up! That camera isn't on, is it?

Amazingly, they took the hottest supermodel at the time and made her frumpier than Urkel. They even keep putting more and more clothes on her the longer the film runs.

Acting is easy when you can read from the script!

Golan and Globus dare to expose shins!

Golan and Globus finally give the customers what they want- at the very end of the movie with just five minutes left.

Finally- the reason why this film was made.

Doubtless the young gentlemen who bought their tickets thinking they'd get to see Kathy Ireland battle aliens in L.A. while wearing a bikini were terribly disappointed. Granted, the script required that Ms. Ireland play a frumpy, helium voiced spazz, but if that was the case, why hire her? Golan & Globus obviously wanted to make a cheesy low budget film whose success would rest solely on Kathy's "shoulders", but they couldn't even do that right. You might not be surprised to learn that their movie making empire collapsed not long after the release of this film.

George Lucas and Flash Gordon

Dino De Laurentiis, the legendary Hollywood producer, was indirectly responsible for the “Star Wars” universe. George Lucas initially wanted to adapt “Flash Gordon” for the big screen. Unfortunately for George, however, Mr. De Laurentiis held the movie rights for “Flash Gordon”. George then decided to write his own space saga- “Star Wars”.

While George Lucas may not have thought so initially, losing the bidding for “Flash Gordon” was the greatest thing that would ever happen to him. Aside from the fact that Dino’s campy “Flash Gordon” was a huge flop, had George made it instead of “Star Wars”, he would not have been able to create his empire. Since “Star Wars” was a new creation, George could license and merchandise it to the hilt; the proceeds for a “Flash Gordon” film would have mostly flowed back to the rights holder. Since George had negotiated with Fox Studio to retain merchandise rights to the film, all of that money went to him exclusively. This money allowed George to establish his own production company and buy all rights to his creation from Fox.

Togetherness?

When 20th Century Fox put the film Myra Breckinridge into production, it needed the film to be a huge success. After Cleopatra nearly bankrupted the studio, its shaky recovery was hurt by the fact that it didn't seem to know what young people wanted to see on the big screen. Myra Breckinridge would change all of that.

However, dissension on the chaotic set threatened to sour public opinion of the film before it had a chance. The biggest problem was that the rumors were all true. Nobody got along with anyone else on the set, sparking John Huston to famously say goodbye to the cast by telling them they'd never cut it together. Mae West and Raquel Welch wouldn't perform together and Rex Reed bad mouthed the film every chance he got. How does one combat such bad publicity? If you're 20th Century Fox, you take out an ad in The Hollywood Reporter with a strange cast portrait and a bizarre slogan- "Think 20th. Togetherness."

Rather than quiet rumors, the picture fanned the flames. It's obvious that Mae and Raquel are barely tolerating each other and why is Charlie Manson sitting amongst them? (That's actually the director, Michael Sarne.)  Even weirder, Ms. West looks like a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's museum. This attempt to fix the image problems facing the movie was a complete failure. While it didn't sink 20th Century Fox, it certainly didn't help the studio either. The film became a box office disaster.

When Dow Chemical Made A Movie

Dow Chemical faced a problem in the 1980's- it was making tidy profits in Yugoslavia, but it couldn't take the profits out of the country due to the country's strict laws. Someone within the company pointed out that the company could make a movie in Yugoslavia with its Yugoslavian profits, then effectively "export" the film itself. It was an ingenious plan, one that Hollywood studios had used in Europe after  World War II. The company quickly found a film project that it could test the waters with- Transylvania 6-5000.

This scheme worked for Hollywood because it was in the business of making films. Making films in Europe versus making them in Hollywood was merely an inconvenience. How would a chemical and plastics company fare in the tough world of movie production? About as well as one would imagine.

Here it is- the only good thing about this film.

Filmmaking is an interesting business. Egos must be dealt with, arcane rules followed and constantly changing audience tastes must be factored in. Dow Chemical had none of these skills or abilities. Casting Ed Begley, Jr and Jeff Goldblum at a time when neither were considered box office draws was just one of many mistakes.

You're still looking at that other picture, right?

In the film, Ed Begley, Jr and Jeff Goldblum play reporters who go to Transylvania to see if it's full of vampires, vampiresses and monsters like depicted in those old Bela Lugosi films. (By the way, reporters- If your boss approves your request to see if vampires exist, he's probably just trying to get rid of you for awhile.) They strike out at first, but later discover that Transylvania really is just like an old Universal Studios monster picture. By that time the audience has already checked out.

Hey, Kramer is in this one!

The film was barely profitable, but savaged by critics. Leonard Maltin merely noted that "Transylvania 6-5000 stinks." In any case, Dow Chemical felt that the film was not worth the effort put into making it and quietly ended its Hollywood experiment. After all, who could have guessed that a chemical company would be bad at making films?