Howard the Duck: Special Edition
HOLLYWOOD (RPS)- George Lucas triumphantly announced today the complete restoration of his classic 80’s production Howard the Duck. “I am excited to finally see my real vision up on the screen,” noted Mr. Lucas, “Imagine what a little CGI can do for this classic film!”
Among the many noticeable changes, the most jarring will be the use of a CGI Howard in place of the animatronic one used in the original film. “I always wanted Howard’s character to be more like Jar Jar from The Phantom Menace.” Howard is also getting a new voice to go along with his new look. “I was never satisfied with Howard’s voice in the first film, but when I first heard Gilbert Gottfried speak, I knew I had finally found the right person to bring Howard to life!” Other notable changes include having Jar Jar himself play Howard’s friend in the duck universe, (“I want to tie this movie’s universe
in with the Star Wars one,” noted Mr. Lucas) and the digital erasing of Lea Thompson from the movie. (“One look at Caroline in the City and I realized what everyone had been telling me; what the hell were we thinking?)
Mr. Lucas seemed confused when asked whether he was consulting with the original director of the movie, Willard Huyck. “Willard who? The Original director of the film? I thought I had him taken out back and-“ Mr. Lucas was then reminded by a PR assistant about the new footage shot for the movie. “We have shot all new footage that makes the film more relevant to today’s audiences and inserted Justin Timberlake into the movie.” When asked how this would make the film more relevant, Mr. Lucas insisted that it was at the behest of his daughter. “It’s not like she’s ever steered me wrong
before. I mean, I eventually decided to edit NSYNC out of Attack of the Clones, didn’t I?”
Mr. Lucas plans to release the movie this Fall into theaters at the request of Universal Pictures, which wants the opportunity to have the DVD release out by Christmas, a situation that Mr. Lucas finds unlikely. “This is, quite possibly, the best special edition I've ever done. At least until I get my hands on The Phantom Menace. Jar-Jar wasn’t accepted as well as I had initially thought, so I’m replacing him with that Gecko from those insurance commercials. Doesn’t that sound cool?”
